Double Dactyls
I.
Greekily, freakily,
Zeno of Elea
Reckoned that nothing could
Actually move.
Clearly this theory’s a
Nonsensicality,
Though it’s surprisingly
Tough to disprove.
II.
Brainiac-mainiac,
Victor von Frankenstein,
Genius boffin and
Arrogant sod,
Found out the hard way that
Anthropogenesis
Really is something that’s
Best left to God.
III.
X-ily, sexily,
Gillian Anderson’s
Sceptical Scully held
Fanboys in thrall:
Would she discover that
Extra-terrestrials
Really existed, or
Sweet bugger all?
IV.
Airily, dareily,
Baron von Richthofen
Foolishly painted his
Fokker bright red.
Blue could have granted him
Invisibility,
Stopping that Camel from
Feeding him lead.
V.
Wiffely-waffely
Louis de Bernières’
Captain Corelli’s an
Epic of war,
Music and love in the
Mediterranean.
Shame the beginning’s a
Bity of a bore.
VI.
Haughtily, snortily,
Benedict Cumberbatch
Sees all his working-class
Challengers off.
Casting directors aren’t
Egalitarian;
Why hire a pleb when you
Could have a toff?
VII.
Scottishly, rottishly,
Anya Gallaccio
Makes installations that
Soon fall apart.
Most either melt or are
Biodegradable;
Perfect for people who
Hate modern art.
VIII.
Boringly, snoringly,
Ivan the Terrible’s
Very well thought of but
Tough to sit through.
Scholars may coo at its
Cinematography,
Frankly I’d rather watch
Spider Man 2.
IX.
Stageily, sageily,
Cameron Mackintosh
Lines up the hits as a
Theatreland chief.
Sadly his movies are
Unrecommendable;
Les Mis was dreadful and
Phantom, good grief!
X.
Doomily, gloomily,
Fields of the Nephilim
Still get together to
Gig here and there,
Growling out songs that are
Incomprehensible,
Mostly to people with
Black spiky hair.
XI.
Dashingly, flashingly,
Lando Calrissian
Brings a significant
Issue to light:
Why should we presuppose
Anthropomorphical
Alien beings come
Only in white?
.