Shall I Compare Thee to a Toilet Roll?
Shall I compare thee to a toilet roll?
When telling of your skin I’ve pondered oft
A simile to properly extol
How beautifully white it is, and soft;
Fresh-fallen snow? The plumage of a swan?
The last too oily far, the first too cold.
I turn to that which buffs my situpon;
Its likenesses to you are manifold,
For like a spool of bumwad you're about
The perfect width and goodly in your length;
As tender as I’ve said you are without,
You have an inner core to give you strength;
I wrap you round me like the Andrex pup
And dearly hope I never use you up.