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Tiswas’ was TV inflected with punk;

Slapdash and spiteful and borderline rude.

‘Swap Shop’ was boring, establishment junk,

 

Aimed, so it seemed, at the nun or the monk;  

Unconfrontational in attitude. 

Tiswas’ was TV inflected with punk;

 

Everything else, in comparison, stunk.

Study the facts and you can’t but conclude

‘Swap Shop’ was boring, establishment junk.

 

Whereas Chris Tarrant would glory in gunk,

Edmonds was craven and custard eschewed.

Tiswas’ was TV inflected with punk;

 

No kids’ show since has had half as much spunk.  

That’s why we sat there in front of it, glued.

‘Swap Shop’ was boring, establishment junk. 

 

Just like the things you have eaten and drunk

Telly helps form you: you are what you’ve viewed.

Tiswas’ was TV inflected with punk, 

‘Swap Shop’ was boring, establishment junk.