Little Willie, watching 'Saw',
Pulled off his sister’s lower jaw.
‘Play nice’, his parents warned, ‘or you
Won’t be allowed to see 'Saw II'.’
Little Willie thought it beezer,
Putting Baby in the freezer.
Mummy said ‘Remove him, please.
I need that space for frozen peas.’
Little Willie, misbehaving,
Did some kitten microwaving.
Daddy said ‘You’d better stop
When you’ve made that one’s eyes go pop.’
Little Willie took a gun
And sniped at gypsies, just for fun.
‘Thank God,’ Mum said. ‘The things I’ve tried
To get that child to play outside!’
Little Willie nailed Aunt Mabel
Firmly to the kitchen table.
Mummy, with a dreadful shriek,
Said ‘That’s an uninsured antique!’
Little Willie tortured pets
With red-hot ends of cigarettes.
The law got wind of Willie’s tricks
And now he works for MI6.