The epiphenomenalist

Asserts free will does not exist.

He’ll tell you, in a measured voice,

That there is no such thing as choice:  


‘We tread a predetermined path

When we buy milk or run a bath.

In spite of everything we’re taught, 

The deed’s the father of the thought.


‘It only seems that we elect

To make decisions. In effect, 

This happens retrospectively.’

(He would say that, though, wouldn’t he?)

The Epiphenomenalist