Francis Bacon

Wasn’t easily shaken;

When he disturbed a burglar one night, instead

Of calling the police he took him to bed.


Lucian Freud

Thought colour was something to avoid

And just went to town

With brown.   


Jackson Pollock

Was an inveterate alcoholock

And it was on the inside of his windscreen that this drunken berk

Painted his last abstract expressionist work.  


Joseph Beuys

Made art that no-one really enjoys.

Who ever said, ‘Ooh, look at that

Exquisite block of rancid fat!’?

Jasper Johns

Cast two beer cans in bronze.

‘Now get them to sell!’ he

Challenged Leo Castelli. 

Artist Clerihews